一开始，我就不该相信你。。

How great to know that first, you texted me telling me how sorry and guilty you felt towards me. Then, telling me you are going to treat me a meal as a return. And when I rejected, you insisted.

Lastly, telling me that you are going to celebrate my birthday for me ? By bringing me to garden by the bay. But was cancelled due to the bad weather. And promise to go during January ?

And now ?! Saw you changing your profile pictures, going garden by the bay with the girl that bought you mini iPad. And posting up the pictures to Facebook?
Did you remember what fucking things you did mention when I ask you to bring her to garden by the bay instead ? You reply me "don't want la ! Waste my time !" Hello !?!?!! And now ? How disappointing it can be ? You know how disgusted I feel towards you?

Yet you can still post at my wall wishing me a happy birthday ? Don't you feel more even disgrace for what you have said and done?

Giving up on you was a right choice.


Ps／没有你的日子我会过得更加好！

Put on a Big Smile,
and Everything is gonna be alright.
;/ Smile Elaine(:
3:30 AM

又再一次得到了一次教训。。。

Once again. Disappointment is more than anything that I've gain from you. I admit that my feelings towards you still there. But it's isn't that strong compared to the previous time. Too much, really way too much that I've expected.

Was expecting a really good meet up with you. But it seems like the effort you really put in really disappoint me much. Especially you know you are suppose to meet me yet you are having something on in the evening ? This really shows how much effort you put in.

This teaches me a lesson. And one thing I can ensure is I should really choose someone who will at least put me at priority place at times. But you don't.

Maybe you are different. But I don't care anymore. I'm tired of trying, tired of waiting, tired of expecting that you will really care how I would feel.

At least I can ensure one more thing is jx at least treated me better than you do. Ohya, I shouldn't have even compared the both of you. Because you are just different than anyone else.

Telling myself not to text you is the first step of giving up on you. Whether you make the effort on texting me shows how much you care about me too.

One last step, before i say Goodbye to you.


Ps/ last tears that I've shed for you.

Put on a Big Smile,
and Everything is gonna be alright.
;/ Smile Elaine(:
11:37 PM

At some point of view, I felt that I'm giving in too much for you again. I would always be the one more concern and care about every single things for you.

I know I shouldn't be feeling that way now. But, I just can't control my feelings.

Put on a Big Smile,
and Everything is gonna be alright.
;/ Smile Elaine(:
3:02 PM

一句对不起。。。

Receiving a text from you after 5 months. The feeling is like is this real? Or am I just dreaming or see wrongly? But it's was the text from you, apologies about how guilty you felt towards the things you have did to me.

How pathetic is, after the god damn 5 months and now you are back to say a SORRY and I choose to forgiven him. But I'm sad to say, the heartbroken wound in my heart has not recover.

Its just really seems like a dream about you texting me saying something that really weird. And I started to doubt every single little things you have said.

I wonder should I give myself a chance again to believe you once again? I can afford to get myself hurt again. It's really hard to handle all this emotional thingy. Which I really hate it.


Ps; 跟着感觉走？

Put on a Big Smile,
and Everything is gonna be alright.
;/ Smile Elaine(:
3:12 AM

我开始怀疑，这真的是爱吗？

Drop my tears during work once again last night, the reason is because of you as well. I started to ensure how much I stand in your heart. A place where I can't see myself in there, and a place where I don't belong to.

I hesitate, and thinking through should I make the move and cancel our trip to Bangkok? I find there's no point of going since we are not as close like before and it will only feel awkward for the both of us.

Am I really think too much? I'm wondering do you have someone else in mind now? That's why you are not texting me and your whatsapp is always online... And I hate to be so suspicious and keeps on thinking who are you texting with that you have to keeps on online. But I'm aren't the one you texting with!

I hate that feelings so badly! There's so much question I want to ask, but the answer is always left with a "Question Mark". You never tell me how would you feel towards me. If you dislike me, I rather you tell me straight forward and not keeps me hanging. What exactly you want from me?

I don't wish to make the wrong decision once again. But every action from you, is really killing me...


Last night, leg cut by glass,
Today, finger cut by paper,
What's next ? Cut my finger by a knife when cooking?



Ps/ 爱你是对还是错？

Put on a Big Smile,
and Everything is gonna be alright.
;/ Smile Elaine(:
12:31 PM

我尽力了。。。

Tried my very best to leave you aside and just concentrate on my own things , somehow my mind will still think of you whenever I'm alone...

I wish I can be stronger enough to accept the facts that I'm gonna give up on someone I love once again. I seems to figure the answer out that between us it's impossible.
I wished that I could be the person accompany you when you are feeling down. But the truth is, you don't need me at all.

Spending all my time on WGM and RM. didn't had a good sleep, and now my shoulders are aching and having migraine. What's worst is having 2 ulcer on the top and bottom of my lips. And the swelling is getting worst. What's next?....



Ps/ we are drifting apart....

Put on a Big Smile,
and Everything is gonna be alright.
;/ Smile Elaine(:
12:14 PM

我的决定。。。

I've been talking to Eric how a guy would feel when comes to the situation I did. What he advise me is natural take it cause. Which I find it quite true. It's like no point forcing and rushing.

And now, I will just leave you aside. And let fate decides. Like I always say, if the person is mine, he will still be mine. If he choose someone else, I will treat this as another lesson I've learn.

" You shouldn't change yourself to someone the person likes, everyone can't change their personality. The person should accept who you are.
Be yourself. "

-Eric

From what he say, I find it quite true. I always wonder why am I the person always giving in to them. And why not they accept me for who I am? I just wanna BE MYSELF.



Ps/ 默默的爱一个人也是很痛苦的，当你发现付出的再多也没用时，流的泪也不比失恋的少。

Put on a Big Smile,
and Everything is gonna be alright.
;/ Smile Elaine(:
12:35 PM

Links

Advertisement / Music